The holidays are here and we are embracing the act of giving. And while some do this all year long the act of giving feels especially important during this time of the year. It’s healing, it’s fulfilling, and it’s reaffirming of our values and beliefs to give to others. And we hold these images of those we most want to give to, the homeless, the battered, the wounded, the most desperate down on their luck and in need of some serious TLC.
But would you ever imagine your neighbor who seems to have it all might need it? Your co-worker who always seems happy in their work? Your friend who seems so positive and put together?
Most people are not good at revealing their innermost needs.Talk about placing yourself in a vulnerable position. It’s risking the ultimate… rejection. Ouch! And yes that’s a big deal to even those who seem as if it isn’t because if that wasn’t so hard we’d be a much more authentic society.
But there are three components to making the act of giving most efficient and that is giving, receiving, and asking. We’ve mastered giving and were working on receiving but people won’t know to give to you if they don’t know you have a need. The problem is that so many worry about being a burden. That’s actually a negative core belief. If you’ve ever worried about being a burden then. You have that core belief. But it can be changed and your holiday experience can be changed as well. If your someone who needs to not feel alone, who needs to feel connected, who needs an ear, who needs a chance, an opportunity, advice, help or anything at all don’t let the fear of being a burden stop you from getting your needs met. Giving only works when others receive and we can only receive when we make our needs known. Some will respond and others won’t so choose those who demonstrate consistency of behavior. But give yourself permission to reach out otherwise you steal that opportunity away from someones ability to give to you. And that’s a real gift!
So for now, here’s to living!